Clones Can Do It Better
by LakynBacon
Summary: Kasumi lets Shepard borrow her mansion for the weekend. Thane is invited and they spend the romantic weekend together. When all seems perfect, Shepard sees something unexpected and disastrous. AU: Thane doesn't have problems with water, Kasumi has Hock's mansion. Quick short series. F!Shep/Thane To help me, I am putting this into a few chapters.


**Author's Note: This is me trying something totally new. I hope you enjoy and if you don't...I still love you. I do NOT own Mass Effect or Bioware...unfortunately. I do own this plot below, though ↓.  
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"Kasumi said we could stay at her place this weekend!" Shepard shouts in excitement, bursting through the cabin doors. All the fish in the tank swim and hide from the sudden outburst.

When did Kasumi ever have a place to call her own? I always thought of her as a freeloader. "She...she has a place?"

Phoenix walks towards the couch and sits on my lap. "Remember the planet Bekenstein? We had to get her partner's graybox from Donovan Hock. Well evidently, Kasumi bought the place without me knowing... until now, of course."

My fused fingers rub her back slowly, trying to let her know I'm here for her. "That's it? There isn't a catch?"

"Well," she sighs and makes a half-smile. "She told us no sex. I couldn't blame her though; we would wreck the place." We start to laugh in unison and I reach my arms around my precious Phoenix. My body can't resist and I start to kiss her cheek. She responds with a sweet long kiss on my lips.

I feel the cool air on my body as she leaves me. "Thane, save this for later. I have to get suited up for a mission in an hour. The hallucinations from just that kiss are going to last me a quarter of an hour," A gentle grin crosses her face as she walks over to her closet. I walk over to help unzip her dress and put it in the clothes chute. Her body gracefully moves to put on the black skin-tight bodysuit. I pull out the standing cabinet and remove the black torso armor, placing it on Shepard's breasts and back. She clamps it into the right place as I reach for the blue striped arm armor.

This goes on until we look for the right helmet for this mission. "I really think you should go for the Kuwashii visor, it helps with targeting your enemy."

"But I'm going on a Nitrogen-gas planet, do you want me to die?" She giggles like a little girl, so sweet coming from a daily killer.

"Then go with the Recon Hood. Besides, I use that all the time." I try to reassure her that my choice is best.

"But you don't hair have, do you? It gets in your face when you wear that thing." She takes her hair and throws it in my face.

It makes my skin tingle and I start to chuckle. "I guess I don't."

"So, I guess I'm taking the Death Mask."

"But Phoenix, do you really think that is the best option?" My arms cross in front of my chest and I lean back on my right foot.

"Will you _shut-up_?" She laughs and reaches inside the fish tank for a Thessian Sunfish. Before I know it I have a scaly creature coming right for my face.

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I only brought a small suitcase for my clothes, shoes, and a few weapons.

Phoenix Shepard thought it would be a splendid idea to bring almost fifty pounds worth of useless stuff. An assortment of games, toiletries, clothes, shoes, and an ass-load of weapons. I mean, that's fine I just wish she would leave the clothes at home. I don't care what Kasumi said; _I_ don't need my clothes, and _neither_ will Shepard.

"Just a few more miles there!" A squeal of pure happiness comes from the driver's side.

"Just curious, why didn't you bring me here with Kasumi? You were beautiful in the dress, I didn't want anyone touching you." I can't help but be jealous that she chose Garrus instead.

She releases a hand from the interface, trying to talk with her hands. "Well, that's exactly it. I had to flirt with Hock to get the graybox. I _promise_ that was it. _And_ I saved that dress for a date sometime."

"I am going to have a long, _long_ talk with Kasumi when we get back." I clench my fists thinking about my girl with anyone else but me.

She shushes me. "It was in the past, don't worry about it. Besides, that bastard is as good as dead. Remember, I still have the dress."

My shoulders shrug unknowingly and a patch of land becomes larger in my vision. "Is this our final destination?"

Shepard mumbles a yes and continues to park in the front. The rich mansion is glorious! Waterfalls cascade off the edges of the front and crash into the crystal water below. I smell sweet lavender in the wind and I feel like a kid growing up again. That was many years before I went to fulfill my duties to the Compact.

"Isn't this just amazing?"

I watch the edges of the sky and sea, looking for any type of aircraft. "It seems too perfect."

"Come on, let's try not to worry about that this weekend. Okay?" She laces her small, yet war-hardened hand into my nimble one.

"I promise."

"Good." Shepard says with a smile, releasing my hand. "I guess I'm going to go check out the rest of the house!"

I turn to the vehicle and swear just a little. "Kalahira just kill me now."

My estimation of the weight of the bag is just under thirty pounds. So when I lift the bag, my hand cramps. "What in the name of Arashu are you carrying?" Now that she is away, I swear loudly. It feels more like seventy pounds of shit we could have left at home.

My shaking feet make it up the stairs and I sigh, thankful that I still have my arm after that. I then take a slow, small step and the bag falls off of my shoulder and comes crashing to the ground.

On my toe.

"Tsoob no lub hnab! Tsoob no tsev loj! Tsoob txhua yam!" My native tongue releases words cursing everything that ever existed. After a few more seconds of breathing and counting down from ten, I continue the long journey.

I find a door labeled 'Shepard and Krios', so I push it open with my suitcase. In the middle of the room is a large king-sized bed, with rose petals covering the pillows. A warm smell comes to my nostrils and I welcome the feeling. After living in the moment, I hear the sound of a bath coming from my right.

I find a table to place the suitcases on and pace over to the bathroom. The door is slightly ajar so I peek inside, looking for any signs of enemies. All that I see is a bathtub filled with small suds, and starting to overflow.

Naturally, I run over to it to shut the water off; then I find Shepard.

Completely naked.

"Hey there Thane, I see you found me." She moves smoothly over to me and rubs her index finger under my chin, seeming to call my lips to hers. "Join me?"

One, I wasn't expecting her to be completely naked. Two, I wasn't expecting her to ask me to the bath. "I-I'll be right back."

I walk out of the door and shut it. Memories are flowing through my mind.

_"Kasumi said no sex...", "Join me?"_.

I know that Kasumi said we couldn't do anything, but I don't care. She doesn't have Commander Shepard as her lover.

You could never say no to her.

I take off my clothes and neatly throw them on a table. When I walk inside, she is already in the bath, swirlhing around the water. "Ah, I am glad you decided to come." I can't even see her and I know she is smiling.

Shepard's recent and famous N7 tattoo greets me when I walk in. Her body moves closer to the front of the tub, seeming to invite me to the back. I put in my left foot, testing the water. Warmth gathers around my foot and I know that everything is going to be alright. So, I put my whole body in, letting the heat cuddle against me.

Shepard lays her body into my torso and her hair swims in the water. Smooth hands caress my thighs and calves. I proceed to massage Shepard's back with a large amount of the bubbles from the water. She moans in pure pleasure, leaning in to my touch.

"I didn't - _that's the spot_ - know you could - _right there _- massage." A mess of words spill from her mouth, letting me know that I actually did something right for once.

My firm, fused fingers rub her wet shoulders and neck, releasing knots in her skin. Sweet sounds of luxury come from in front of me. I continue to relieve my love of her stress, cleaning her back and body.

"Thane."

"Yes my sweet?" I turn my attention to her and her eyes glow with passion.

"We've been in here for twenty minutes and I'm starting to get really bad wrinkles." Phoenix lifts her chin to plant a kiss on my cheek.

She gets out of the tub and water cascades down her back and legs. After most has fallen, she lifts her legs out and drops of water threaten to fall on the ground. Shepard quickly grabs a towel to dry the moisture off her body.

I watch her body navigate to the closet in the bathroom and she pulls out a short-length, blue, lingerie gown. Lace accents the breast area and around the edges of the dress. "Do you like it?"

"Did Kasumi not say no sex? Because I am so ready to take you out of that." I let my voice become deeper, trying to make the mood more sensual.

"Oh yeah, she did. I just have to make sure I still have game." Shepard saunters away from me and into the bedroom. "You coming or what?" Her voice is sweet and devilish.

Phoenix locks the door to the bathroom and leaves me stranded, covered in bubbly, lukewarm water. I push my body to stand and I try to find something to dry me off. A greyish green towel is folded carefully on the bathroom counter, so I quickly grab it before I let all of the water fall on the floor.

When all the moisture from my body has vanished, I wrap the towel around my lower half and stroll outside of the room. Everything in the room remains, except there are clothes and the towel Shepard used on the floor.

"Shepard?" I start to yell, frantic to find her.

I sniff around, looking for clues to where she wandered off. All that I find is her sweet-smelling underwear and the trace of her existence suddenly disappearing close to the window. When a few minutes have passed, my Omni-tool chirps. I start to panic.

"Phoenix? Where are you?" I dash to my Omni-tool, only to find a seductive and oh-so-sweet message.

_Find me._

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**Author's Note: I really want to continue this, so please let me know your feedback! Love you all. Next chapter may be out in a month...sadly, BUT it will be much longer than this. I didn't want to get to the next part, yet, in fret that it would leave to much of a cliffhanger. :P**


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